Friday, March 30, 2012

Saying Yes to the Dress, at Some Point in the Near Future

The most frequent question I am asked is if I have found The Dress. I always answer with a no, followed by a long, drawn-out sigh, and a forlorn look on my face that clearly says I have been to every bridal shop on the east coast and have yet to find the perfect gown.

The truth is, I have been dress shopping only once, and that was mostly for fun--I had no serious intentions of even considering to purchase the dresses I tried on. (Sorry Jenny Packham, I love you but I'm not in love with you.) Maybe it was the fit of the dress, or maybe it was the $5,000 price tag. Whatever the case, I left the shop that day empty-handed.

I abhor dress shopping in general. I realize that statement may come as a shock to many people, but it's the truth. Dresses are the worst when it comes to having to try on a million just to find one that has the right fit. Searching for a wedding dress is no different--in fact, it is much worse. Curse you wedding industry, and your silly code of sample sizes!

Duh, I know alterations can be made. I'm pretty sure that dress alterations are what keeps bridal boutiques afloat, considering the cost. But those alterations come AFTER I drop a sizable amount of money on a dress. So, am I supposed to squeeze myself into a sample size and then "imagine" what my dress will look like after it has been altered? No thank you. Imaginary games are for children and hippies.

There is also an unholy amount of pressure when dress shopping. It is very similar to trying on engagement rings--sales associates encouraging you to try on rings you would never look twice at, smiles plastered on their faces, nodding up and down every time as if this is it, this is the one you've been looking for!Oh, you're not happy with that setting? Here, try on five different settings that don't have a stone! Just imagine what it will look like with a diamond. STOP TRYING TO PLAY GAMES WITH ME, WEDDING INDUSTRY! Just like the ring shopping experience, every time I tried on a dress, at least one salesperson would sigh and say "Oh that's so beautiful, that dress just looks wonderful on you!" All the while I'm standing there in an awkwardly-fitted gown, thinking to myself "No, no it doesn't, stop looking at me."

As you can see, I have an unhealthy, irrational fear of dress shopping. I believe that this type of fear is best treated with exposure therapy, but it's been two months since my first wedding dress experience and I have yet to step foot in another bridal salon. However, I have high hopes that finding the dress will be just as simple as finding my soulmate in Matt and finding the perfect engagement ring--when I know, I'll know.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Clock is Ticking!

Recently, I received a kind email from informing me that I only have 9 months to go until the big day. My response to this email was, of course, panic.

NINE MONTHS?!?!?! ONLY NINE MONTHS!!!!! We don't even have a stationer! We haven't even been cake tasting! Who the hell even knows what we are going to serve at dinner!!!! Don't even get me started about dress shopping!

And today is March 20th, which means I have WAYYYY LESS THAN NINE MONTHS to go!!!!!

To avert a potential nervous breakdown, I ate a healthy amount of peanut butter pretzels and replayed Matt's voice in my head, saying "We'll get everything done. Everything will be beautiful."

Today, however, I will not focus on everything that remains to be accomplished. It is the Lenten season, and I am working on removing negativity from my life. So, let's talk about what we have done! (Which is not a lot, ohhhhhh geeze....)

1. Venue
The venue was one of the very first things we booked. Since I was a tiny child, I have always dreamed of having my wedding in my hometown church, with the reception following at the Martha Washington Inn. The Martha was an obvious choice. It is old (vintage!), historic, and beautifully decorated--we can just let the natural beauty of the setting speak for itself (another one of those wedding phrases I detest)! The biggest draw of the Martha is its reputation for being a hotspot  of paranormal activity! Matt and I would love for one of the infamous ghosts of the Martha to make an appearance at our wedding. Truly, we would feel so honored.

2. Bridal Party
The bridal party was also established just a few short days after our engagement. I think we've both known for a long time who we want to be up there next to us on TBD (The Big Day, for those of you unfamil with my abbreves). We each have eight attendants, and at first I thought 16 people in a bridal party was out of control...until I saw lots of weddings with double that number. Now I can't help but feel just a little bit smug that I have less than 10 bridesmaids.

3. Registries
I always thought that creating a registry would be the best part of wedding planning. I could not have been more wrong. Yes, it's fun to pick out whatever you want from a store and put it on a wish list, but I could not handle the pressure! I mean, how am I supposed to know if I will still feel comfortable with that shower curtain choice, six months later? And then if I end up hating it, I just wasted some poor guest's time and money, and I have an extra shower curtain I don't know what to do with. If that's not white girl problems, I don't know what is! Luckily, I managed to overcome my anxiety and somehow created not one but three registries. Yes, that's right, three. I felt that was a little excessive, until I read in Real Simple Weddings (probably the single most useful wedding magazine I have purchased) that it is normal to have three: one at a department store (Macy's), one at a high end retailer (Pottery Barn), and one at a store that is EVERYWHERE (dollar tree...jk kidding, jk kidding--our third registry is at Tar-jay).

4. Photographer
I jumped all over doing research for this one, because photographs are very important to me, as evidenced by my plethora of Facebook photo albums. Matt and I found a great photographer that is conveniently located in my hometown, so we don't have to pay travel costs. Their work far surpasses that of any other photographers in the region, in my expert opinion. And, I think we can all agree that I do have a considerable amount of knowledge in photography, as shown by my Facebook pictures as well as the fact that I own a digital camera.

5. Wedding Website
I know that I took my time to devote an entire post (albeit, one paragraph) to complain about how tedious it is to create a wedding website, but in all honesty it has caused me the least problems. Go take a look! Sign the guest book and makes us feel popular!

6. Bridal Shower
I have a wonderful, smart, talented, super organized Maid of Honor. She has already set a date and location for my bridal shower occurring back home. THANK YOU ASHLEY!!!! I know that my bridal and bachelorette shindigs are in good hands. 

That's all, folks! Seriously. See the reason for my panic? Ok. Let go of the negativity. "Everything will be beautiful." 
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