Friday, March 30, 2012

Saying Yes to the Dress, at Some Point in the Near Future

The most frequent question I am asked is if I have found The Dress. I always answer with a no, followed by a long, drawn-out sigh, and a forlorn look on my face that clearly says I have been to every bridal shop on the east coast and have yet to find the perfect gown.


The truth is, I have been dress shopping only once, and that was mostly for fun--I had no serious intentions of even considering to purchase the dresses I tried on. (Sorry Jenny Packham, I love you but I'm not in love with you.) Maybe it was the fit of the dress, or maybe it was the $5,000 price tag. Whatever the case, I left the shop that day empty-handed.


I abhor dress shopping in general. I realize that statement may come as a shock to many people, but it's the truth. Dresses are the worst when it comes to having to try on a million just to find one that has the right fit. Searching for a wedding dress is no different--in fact, it is much worse. Curse you wedding industry, and your silly code of sample sizes!


Duh, I know alterations can be made. I'm pretty sure that dress alterations are what keeps bridal boutiques afloat, considering the cost. But those alterations come AFTER I drop a sizable amount of money on a dress. So, am I supposed to squeeze myself into a sample size and then "imagine" what my dress will look like after it has been altered? No thank you. Imaginary games are for children and hippies.


There is also an unholy amount of pressure when dress shopping. It is very similar to trying on engagement rings--sales associates encouraging you to try on rings you would never look twice at, smiles plastered on their faces, nodding up and down every time as if this is it, this is the one you've been looking for!Oh, you're not happy with that setting? Here, try on five different settings that don't have a stone! Just imagine what it will look like with a diamond. STOP TRYING TO PLAY GAMES WITH ME, WEDDING INDUSTRY! Just like the ring shopping experience, every time I tried on a dress, at least one salesperson would sigh and say "Oh that's so beautiful, that dress just looks wonderful on you!" All the while I'm standing there in an awkwardly-fitted gown, thinking to myself "No, no it doesn't, stop looking at me."


As you can see, I have an unhealthy, irrational fear of dress shopping. I believe that this type of fear is best treated with exposure therapy, but it's been two months since my first wedding dress experience and I have yet to step foot in another bridal salon. However, I have high hopes that finding the dress will be just as simple as finding my soulmate in Matt and finding the perfect engagement ring--when I know, I'll know.

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