Wednesday, February 5, 2014

The Bachelor: More Questions Than Answers

Hello friends, and Happy Hump Day! So far, the week has been kind, but let's not get too excited--we've still got three days left, and anything could happen. Don't you worry about me though, I've got a half gallon of salted caramel gelato to get me through! (Last night, after I went to the gym, I thought "I feel so great! I feel so healthy! I don't need to eat gelato tonight!" I'm sure you can guess how that turned out.)

I must confess something a little embarrassing--I started watching the Bachelor (embarrassing), and this is only the second season I've watched all the way through (also embarrassing--why did I not start watching this sooner?!). The Bachelor is full of some QUALITY drama, and I cannot stop watching. However, with every episode I watch, I come away with more questions than answers. For example:

1. What is the deal with these fancy dates? In the history of the Bachelor, has there ever been a normal date? I'm not even talking about a dinner and a movie date, I'm talking about the kind where you wear mismatched pajamas and eat Mcdonald's on the couch while binge watching a show on Netflix (my kind of evening!).

Not a real date.
2. Is there some kind of personality assessment before a contestant is accepted onto the show? I'm just wondering how they manage to fit so much crazy into one season.

Somebody saw this girl and thought, "CHA-CHING!"
3. How do they keep the bachelor/bachelorette from engaging in too much hanky panky? I guess they really don't, since it makes for good television.

4. How many kids is too many for a contestant to have on the show? I just think they could do some sort of crossover with an episode of Maury--I mean, just think of the potential!

5. Why is The Bachelorette SO BORING? Come on bros, step up your game!

6. If you manage to make it all the way to the wedding, are you obligated to invite all those couples from seasons past? Even if you may have silently judged them and possibly scorned them at one time or another? Because that could be real awkward.

7. From this season: is someone ever going to call out JP on being a hypocrite? Like, he couldn't kiss Renee, because of the kids and all, but he can go makeout with every other girl? Someone please explain this logic to me.
Just callin it like I see it, JP!
8. Also from this season: how many more times will we hear Charleen say "organic" before the word becomes meaningless?

9. Has there ever been a "bachelor baby?" You know what I mean--a baby conceived during the taping of the show! Could you imagine the scandal?!?

10. Last question--where do I sign my brother up?

How do you feel about the Bachelor? Do tell so I don't feel so alone in my guilty pleasure.

All Love,

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